


A Rumor

by eidheann



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, M/M, No Smut, Silly, draco's a bit dramatic, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-11 09:02:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11145234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eidheann/pseuds/eidheann
Summary: Draco's heard that Harry is hung like a broomstick, and now he can't get the image out of his mind.





	A Rumor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [capitu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/capitu/gifts).



> This was written very loosely for a prompt posted by the lovely Capitu. It's unbeta'd, un-looked-over, and basically me trying to write something after most of a year without. 
> 
> So it's not quite written directly into the ao3 text submission field, but you should probably consider it to have been done so.
> 
> Sorry there's no smut! Finishing now was my one chance to make deadline.

It started in the same way most of Draco's worst ideas do: Pansy.

"But they had to specially design the uniform to contain Potter's knob," she cackled over her glass of wine. The hour was late, the pub was dim, and Pansy, Daphne, and Draco were the only three remaining from Theo's birthday party several hours ago.

Draco blinked bleary eyes and peered at her across the sticky table. "What?"

"Knew he'd wake up if someone said 'knob'," Daphne muttered with a roll of her eyes. "You're so predictable, Draco."

"Shh," Pansy waved a hand, shushing messily. "Knob. Dick, cock, prick," Pansy counted off on her fingers.

"Pans!" Daphne cackled, grabbing Pansy's fingers and stopping the count, before bringing them to her lips. Draco frowned at the glasses littering the table; Daphne must have been more sauced than she seemed to show such overt affection.

Pansy's expression went smug and lazy, staring at Daphne's full lips. "Potter."

"What?" Draco peered around the mostly-empty pub. "Where?"

Daphne snorted, before stealing Pansy's wine and finishing it. Pansy just sighed. "You never listen to me, Draco. I _was saying_ that Astoria just finished the newest round of fittings for the Appleby uniforms, and who do you think requires special tailoring to tame his… broomstick?"

Daphne cackled again, collapsing against Pansy's shoulder. Draco rubbed his head; it felt slow and thick and heavy, and he knew he was on the wrong side of intoxicated to deal with Pansy in this sort of mood. "I don't even care."

Both Pansy and Daphne turned to stare at Draco for a moment before both burst into laughter again.

"Shut it, you cows, I don't."

"Of course not, Draco. You have no desire to see if your Hogwarts crush has a dick the size of the London Eye." Pansy gave him a pat.

"And you've no desire to find out if he'd stuff it up your arse," Daphne added.

He sat back. "I don't have to listen to you two all night. I'm leaving."

"Ta, darling! I'll owl Asti and let her know you'll be coming around, shall I?"

"I hate you very much!" Draco shot over his shoulder as he tossed a handful of Powder into the Floo.

Daphne said something he couldn't make out before she and Pansy collapsed again in cackling laughter. Draco retreated into the flames, cursing the thought that had entered his head.

XXX

It wasn't that Draco was obsessed with Potter's prick, he thought to himself as he stood staring at the large knocker on Astoria's front door. He just had… questions. And mental pictures. Pictures and questions that Pansy had put into his head and he just _knew_ he'd be able to get them out if only he spoke to Astoria.

Asti would tell him that Pansy was taking the piss on him, and he'd move on with life after a little bit of revenge.

It's not like he wasn't used to Pansy poking at him for his stupid Hogwarts crush. It was practically tradition at this point.

He lifted his wand, pointing it at the knocker. The knocker thunked against the door twice, sounding ominous in the drizzly morning light.

The door opened slowly, and Draco smoothed his expression to something casual. He needn't have bothered, as soon as Astoria made eye contact, she frowned-- " _No_ , Draco," and shut the door again.

Draco stared, nonplussed, before grasping the knocker and banging it. The door opened almost instantly. Astoria frowned at him, before sighing. "Oh all right. Come in. I don't need Madame Oakby complaining to the council again."

Draco followed Astoria into her flat, trying to not look like he was coming out of his skin with curiosity. Astoria led him into her small sitting room, gesturing to the chair opposite the one she'd obviously been sitting in when he'd arrived. The small table had a cup of still-steaming tea, and an open book lay beside it, the spectacles Astoria swore she didn't need marking the place.

"Good morning, Draco, lovely to see you. I'm not going to ask why you're here because my sister Floo called me at three this morning saying Pansy'd told you Potter has a huge cock."

Draco felt a rush of relief. "So it's a lie, then. They're taking the piss."

Astoria blinked at him. "Of course they're taking the piss. Potter's always been an easy target with you." She reached for her cup, taking a sip of tea. "It's not a lie, though."

Draco's throat closed, and he coughed. "What?"

"It's true. I'm using his old Falcons trousers to match the fit." She waved a hand idly toward her worktable, where a pair of dark grey wool trousers lay in a messy pile.

Draco swallowed around the lump in his throat at being sat so near Potter's trousers. Potter's specially-tailored trousers, made especially to contain Potter's giant cock. Draco could feel himself flush under Astoria's uncaring attention. 

"You're--" He paused, recalling how quick Astoria was with a hex when anyone accused her of lying. "You're serious?"

Asti shrugged. "Not like I care one way or the other. I never understood what you saw in him, and it's a pain to tailor around."

Draco rubbed his fingers across his forehead, finally giving in and shoving them back through his hair. He was surprised to realize his hands were shaking. He glanced up to see Astoria's attention seemed finally to be caught, from her usual distanced air.

"This really matters to you, doesn't it?"

He straightened quickly in his seat, schooling his expression. Experience taught him that when Astoria actually got interested in something, she was like a crup with a shoe, worrying it until it fell apart.

"I-- What?"

"This Potter thing. I thought it was just something Pansy gave you shit for because of Hogwarts, but it's not, is it? It's still a thing for you."

"Oh, Merlin. Astor--"

"No, don't bother to deny it. You're quite obvious, now that I know what I'm looking at. You've really been pining for Potter since Hogwarts? How very strange."

"I have _not_ been pining!" Draco frowned fiercely at Astoria, who simply scoffed quietly before standing and crossing to her Floo.

When the flames flared green, she stuck her head in and called, "Appleby Stadium, for Harry Potter."

Draco's chest tightened in embarrassment. "Astoria, what are you--"

"Do shut up, Draco." Astoria turned her head slightly toward him, face glowing green in the flames. "If you hadn't known what I'd do, you wouldn't have come here."

He let out a strangled noise, choking back every denial that of _course_ he had no idea what Astoria would do. But that was a lie; once Astoria was made aware of something, she simply charged over it like an erumpet in a teashop. He was never certain if she was unaware of social niceties or simply did not care, but this outcome was not entirely unexpected. 

"Harry Potter," she said again into the Floo, and Draco let out another choked-off wail, looking around frantically for a place to hide. "Yes, if you'd come through please."

Draco jumped out of his chair and made a dash for the door, which left him freezing when Potter spun out of the floo and onto Astoria's hearthrug. 

"Er," Potter looked between Astoria and Draco with a confused expression. "Hi Malfoy?"

"If you'll just step on the stool, please." Astoria said, ignoring the awkward silence. She waved her wand and a stool appeared in the middle of the floor. "I'll only keep you a moment."

Potter climbed up onto the stool, and Draco took a moment to stare. Potter was wearing training robes, and they clung to his arse leaving very little to the imagination. Draco swallowed around his suddenly-dry throat, blinking quickly and glancing up to see Potter watching him, eyebrow quirked and smirking faintly.

"Draco, make yourself useful." Astoria handed him a piece of parchment and a quill, before waving her wand at Potter again. She mumbled to herself continually, as her Quick-Quotes Quill jotted numbers and notes across the scroll Draco still held.

Draco was uncertain where to look. Astoria's notes made no sense to him, and every time he found his gaze drifting back to Potter, it was to see him already watching Draco, looking more and more amused each time. Draco could feel his shoulders tighten, as if pulled up by strings, even as his face heated in a blush at Potter's continued attention.

"All right. I'm done. Thank you, Potter." Astoria plucked the scroll from Draco's hands, reading quickly. "Now will you both please go somewhere else to fuck because I don't want you doing it in my flat."

Draco choked, and Potter sputtered. Astoria looked up at them both, her expression back to its usual disinterest. "That was me telling you to leave now, thank you." She waved her wand again, and Draco found himself standing again at her front door, this time with Potter beside him.

"She like that normally, or are we special?" Potter glanced over at Draco, his expression caught somewhere between amused and bewildered.

Draco considered and discarded several responses before finally shrugging. "Pretty usual for Astoria, yes."

Potter nodded, smiling wider. "Well. Better take her advice, then. I don't think she meant us to do much on her doorstep."

"What?" Draco sputtered. "I--"

"You and Pansy and Daphne are pretty loud when you're drunk." Potter shrugged, though his cheeks tinted pink. "Gin was at the pub last night and heard what you said."

"I didn't…." Draco tugged his robes straight, wondering briefly if someone could die from all their blood rushing to their face. "Pansy and Daphne were taking the piss."

"Oh." Draco glanced up to see Potter had gone completely red-faced. "Er, right. Sorry." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking everywhere but at Draco. "I'll just…" He gestured vaguely behind him before giving an awkward little salute and turning to go.

"But…" Draco hesitated, before taking a deep breath and attempting to sound more certain than he felt. "But they might have been taking the piss about something that's actually…."

Potter paused, turning to look at Draco, his smile growing once again. "Something that's actually something?"

Draco breathed, relief swelling in his chest. "Well, I may have not actually _denied_ wanting to ride you like a broomstick."

Potter laughed, taking two slow steps closer to Draco before pausing again. "Mr Malfoy, I may be easy, but I'm not that easy. I require at least dinner first."

Draco glanced down before smirking at Potter through his eyelashes. "I can do dinner. At least."

Potter cleared his throat. "Yeah. That sounds. Yeah."

"I'll meet you at seven. The Cauldron and the Hind."

"Cauldron and the Hind, yeah. I mean… Yeah."

"Ta, Potter."

It was a huge relief to catch Potter staring at his arse as he left.


End file.
